My 13th Very Silly but Still Entertaining Fic
by BooBoo
Summary: a collection of scenes that have loose ties. Written for those who are looking for a good laugh. enjoy!


Warning: this fic may be to unbearably silly for some of you Blue-Blooded, Tea-guzzling, mother was a hamster and father stunk of loganberries ladies and gentlepeople.  
  
Ah, a wonderful sight. A grand-father and his grandson stare at a window at a vast, endless, and otherwise large farm.  
  
Grand-father: Someday son all of this will be yours  
G-son a.k.a. Jack: The Curtains?  
GF: No! All the land you see here  
Jack: And the cabbages  
GF: Yes those, too  
Jack: I don't want the cabbages  
GF (changing the subject): look, wave hi to Nappy  
Jack: He's coming in from watering the plants  
GF: Wow, how'd you know that  
Jack: Uh,... he isn't covered in shit  
Nappy: eeh, silly villagers  
Jack: what the Hello Dolly are you doing  
Nappy: Haha, silly child of a cow and a elderly mule, ha, I blow my nose at you, silly child  
Jack: why do you talk so funny little person  
Nappy: because I'm French  
GF: ahh, the trolls are invading from Quebec (at this Jack's grand father hurls himself of mother's hill)  
Nappy: eeh, good thing he smell like the crotch of a bovine  
GF: I'm not quite dead  
Nappy: no no, 'tis dead  
GF: I'm getting better  
Nappy: I'm a troll from Quebec. Why do you think I have this outrageous accent? Haha, I taunt you old man. Now go hurl yourself off that hill or I will taunt you a second time.  
  
Director who has no role in this but we figured we would let him speak: CUT, CUT, if he hurls himself off a hill than we can't finish this , um...book, story or otherwise manuscript of which has insurmountable silliness.  
  
Nappy: silly director I shake my private parts in your direction (CENSORED) wasa' matter afraid to be shown up by a troll!!  
(end of ACT 1)  
*********************************  
THE SUMMARY OF ACTS 2-23  
And so, Jack returned to his grandfathers farm at the age of 18. The trolls still posed a threat to the community so they formed "Farmer Jack and the Knights of the Partially Octagonal but Sill With rounded edges Table" to protect the village from invading trolls with outrageous French accents. And so there was many a brave and gallant knights.  
Sir Jeff the Brave  
Sir Siabra the wise  
Sir Duke the humble  
and Sir Rick the not so brave as Sir Jeff who nearly fought the vicious sea bass of Mineral Beach and who nearly slayed the ferocious chicken of Lil's and who personally wet himself at the battle of Mother's Hill. But he be bad, Honkey.  
********************************************  
(welcome to act 24 which is laced with great acting where King Jack and Sir Jeff find a clue worth finding)  
Jeff and Jack are sitting enjoying a tequila sunrise in the bar.  
  
Jack: Jesus Christ Jeff how many of those are you gonna drink  
Jeff: I be bad Honkey  
Jack: didn't you read the rules on the wall  
  
What the rules say: no saying Honkey, Chink, Spic, Dago, Nigger, Sand Nigger, Towel head, Pollock, Nazi, Leprechaun, Cracker, Lame white Boy, Broad  
  
Jeff: Damn  
Jack: Jesus Christ they just should've said no racial slurs  
Jeff: No, the writer just wants to raise his word count  
BooBoo: Shut Up, Dago  
Doug: get out! No racial slurs!  
BooBoo: hey I can make you suck even more do you want to become Sir Doug the not so brave as Sir Jeff who nearly fought the vicious sea bass of Mineral Beach and who nearly slayed the ferocious chicken of Lil's and who personally wet himself at the battle of Mother's Hill. But he be bad, Honkey.  
  
Doug: no but leave, you can't be in your own story  
BooBoo: my bad, Cracker Fwahahahaaaa  
Jack: Jesus Christ  
Jeff: every time you say JC that Arab guy with the beard dressed in all white says "What" every time you say JC.  
  
Jesus: what do you want already  
Jack: Jesus allow me to hug you  
Jesus: no! my papa wants to see ya'lls  
Jeff: Hey look at Sir Carter the Pervert  
Jack: yea that pledge of Chastity has made him go psycho. he hasn't put clothes on since last winter  
Jack: Jesus look Rick pissed himself   
Jesus: don't say pissed say personally wet. Just like in act one you said shit, well, you should've said solid droppings.  
Jack: yea whatever  
Jesus: follow me  
Jack: sorry I'm Jewish  
Jesus: no come with me to Rose Square  
********************************************************  
(Final Act)  
  
Jesus: God, Father, I am beckoning you  
God: What, wait, did I tell you what I'm going to do to that Carter fellow 'morrow  
Jeff: hey God has a British accent  
God: in fact my follower  
Jeff: what're you doing to Carter  
God: he is going to die of a MASSIVE INTERNAL INFARCTION  
Jack: a massive in-fuck-tion. Is that because he screws himself all the time  
Jeff: No, I think he said massive internal fart. You know he hasn't farted since he became nudist because Rick finds it unattractive.  
God: no you mortals his spleen is going to explode  
Jeff: OK Whatever  
God: no go find the holy grail! I must leave to the bathroom before I piss myself  
Jesus: Papa, say personally wet  
God: Jesus, your grounded  
Jesus: shit  
God: I heard that  
Jesus: Old Coot  
God: I heard that to! no you to go find that cup, grail, or otherwise a container of liquids. Goodbye!  
  
Jeff: there's a gift shop in the next town over  
Jack: alright, lets go  
  
Director who has a second speaking part: cut it and print it  
Jeff: what about uploading it on fanfiction.net  
BooBoo: I'm on that, Jesus Christ  
Jesus (from heaven): WHAT!!!  
God(also from heaven): That's it you cant make your next coming until the next millennium  
  
JAMES BOND WILL RETURN  
  
(WONT BE CONTINUED, HAS REACHED IT'S CLIMAX OR OTHERWISE TO SAY, THE END)  
  
-BooBoo 


End file.
